Ask The Shaykh

Asalamualaikum Is it okay for your parents or a parent to dislike an individual who you want to marry due to their ethnicity/culture/race? If the person you want to marry is a Muslim who fears Allah and shares similar views and ideals as you, is it allowed to go against the wish of the parents or a parent if they don't approve of the husband/wife because of their ethnicity/culture/race? If the parents of an individual say the reason you shouldn't marry someone of a different ethnicity/culture/race is because it will cause many disputes based STRICTLY on those differences, what is one to tell the parents? I believe the way individuals interact with one another comes from their personalities and their upbringings. If there are any Ayat or Hadeeth that can be provided it would be greatly appreciated. JazakAllah Khier

Walaikum Assalam, this issue in known as "equality in marriage" and scholars differed on it.

Ibn Hazm Rahimahullah believes all muslims are equal to each other as long as they are not committing major sins. No difference between black or white, rich or poor and so on based on the ayah: {The believers are but brothers} {The most noble among you is the one who has more piety}. So based on that there's no difference and all Muslims are equal. Similar to this opinion is the opinion of Imam Malik.

However, Imam Ashafi'e and others considered many things in equality. They considered people of Quraish equal to each other then 'Arab equal to each other and then the non 'Arab equal to each other so the non 'Arab should not marry a woman from the 'Arab because they are different. Also, the very rich should not marry the very poor because there are differences.

Usually parents act on behalf of their child whether he's a boy or she's a girl and many times they can see what their child cannot see. However, if it's clear that they are keeping their child from marriage then the matter could be raised to a Muslim authority. Usually these issues should be discussed friendly because eventually parents and their children are looking for the same thing in marriage.